


"I've Got Something To Tell You"

by EphilliaAllora



Series: Timeskip AU [4]
Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: F/F, F/M, POV Change, Shirabe is learning so be nice to her, TW for mention of Past Transphobic Family, Trans Male Character, established relationship(s) - Freeform, timeskip au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-10 03:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15283107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EphilliaAllora/pseuds/EphilliaAllora
Summary: Shirabe notices Kiri-chan has been acting distant lately





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Same AU as the Elfnein Adoption fic so takes place 6 years after AXZ.

Tsukuyomi Shirabe did not seek out sex, she enjoyed it, but It was hardly ever something she ever felt the need for. At times, just to get the reaction she liked out of her Kiri-chan, she would initiate but something felt off tonight. “Kiri-chan?” she asked, noticing the flinch from her lover “What’s wrong?” Shirabe backed off, giving Kiri-chan some space.

“Its..” Kiri-chan mumbled, not meeting Shirabe’s eyes “I’m scared how you’ll react” she pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs. Kiri-chan was always so perky and cheerful in public that Shirabe was used to her being a bit more subdued in private, but I had been a while since she could remember seeing her like this. 

“It’s okay, take your time, I’ll listen and I won’t judge you” Shirabe shifted herself to sit on her knees “What has you worried” she tried to keep the worry out her voice but wasn’t sure how much she succeeded.

It took Kiri-chan a few minutes to build herself up to speak “I… I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable lately” she shifted on her spot of the bed before hugging herself tighter “So I looked around online to see if there was like mental health symptoms I could use to work it out and” she paused again, Shirabe could see how much Kiri-chan was pushing herself, as they made eye contact again the pain was written all over her face. “I… I want to” she choked as tears started falling “I wanna be a boy” she whimpered out.

Shirabe took a second to process what she heard “So that would make it…”. She thought for a moment “Is that why you looked so happy the first time the Commander called you Kiri-kun?” she asked. Kiri-chan’s sobbing cut off with a confused look “Y-yeah I ... guess, it was nice to hear it… but you’re, not upset with me?” the fear leaking back into her voice. 

“No why would I...oh” Shirabe stopped herself, finally realising what the confession had meant “Okay, does this make you..” 

“Transgender” Kiri-chan cut in before softening her voice again “T-thats the term I saw used when I was looking stuff up. It means that my brain doesn’t match my body so it, starts to freak out when it realises certain things” 

This was a lot of new information for Shirabe to digest “So… when you see your body and its not male there’s a disconnect?” she asked, unsure if she was coming off as rude. Kiri-chan looked back to her “Y-yeah that’s exactly it… I just, don’t know if you’d still want to be with me if I was a boy”

“Of course I would be!” Shirabe said as she lept forward on the bed, coming face to face with her dearest person “I love you because you’re you Kiri… kun, not because of your body” In an instant, Kiri-kun broke into tears as he embraced Shirabe, sobbing “I love you, I love you so much” into her neck. Shirabe put her arms around her boyfriend and returned same tight hug, trying as best she could to make him feel safe. “I love you too Kiri-kun” placing a gentle kiss on his head.

Kiri-kun detached himself from Shirabe and leaned back, smiling that same goofy grin she loved so much . Shirabe smiled back before saying “I have such a handsome boyfriend” before gently taking his head in her hands and pulling him closer to plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Now I don’t really know anything about this, so please bear with me as I learn, but always understand that I will always be on your side, okay” Kiri-kun reached up and took her hands in his “I don’t know a lot either but, this seems like a good start”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Kiri-kun” Shirabe called from the living room “How does Kirio sound?” she waited for a response from Kiri-kun who was out on the balcony bringing in their small laundry. “Hmm, its close, but it does fit the theme” he pondered, closing the screen door with his foot and setting the basket down “How is it written?” Shirabe couldn’t contain her smile as she laid it all out “So, I found a way that’s written for given names, and it can also be read as Male, Excellence or Leadership” she leaned forward on the couch to turn the laptop around to Kiri-kun.

“Oh that sounds dope!” he exclaimed hopping from foot to foot “Oh thats really cool and I get to keep Kiri too!” he plopped down on the couch next to her “I can put that name change form in now, then we can go out for dinner!” Shirabe eyed the abandoned laundry basket and raised an eyebrow “Dont we need to get some things done before that?” she asked with a smirk.

“Nah that can wait” 

“Kiri-kun it’s only 9am, the post doesn’t go out till 5 o'clock”

“So that means there’s plenty of time to do the laundry after we post it off and celebrate!” he replied with a grin from ear to ear. Shirabe sighed at his view of infallible logic “Okay let’s go, but remember we’re seeing Maria for dinner so don’t pig out”

“I know I know” he said with a laugh as he dashed off to their room to grab the papers off the desk and all Shirabe could do was smile.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“So, what did you want to tell us?” Maria asked from the other side of the dinner table. The weight of what they had come over for that night came crashing back down on Kirio's shoulders. “Well I … there’s some stuff I need to talk to you about” he managed to get out, already feeling his panic rising again. He felt Shirabes hand brush against his, then grab it before giving it a gentle squeeze. He snuck a glance over at his girlfriend. 

“Are you telling us you’re both getting married?” cut in Tsubasa with her usual tackt.

“W-what!? No! I mean, not yet? Probably soon?” Kirio was definitely panicking now, pleading with his eyes to Shirabe to help. Shirabe thankfully got the hint “No, Kiri-kun has something important to tell you both”

Maria slightly raised an eyebrow “Kun?” she turned to Tsubasa who just shrugged at her, what was that about. “A-n-y way” enunciated Kirio “So I’ve been thinking about stuff for a while now and I..” deep breath, another gentle squeeze from Shirabe before vomiting out “I’m going to transition so I can be a man” And he braced for the trademark Cadenzavna Panic Attack.

“Oh” was all he got out of Maria “Okay so are you planning to transition medically or are you just going to change your clothes and appearance”

“What” he replied.

“Have you found a specialist doctor or endocrinologist or psychiatrist you trust yet” cut in Tsubasa.

“A what now” he asked back.

Maria crossed her arms and then held her chin as she wondered aloud “Either way you’re going to need to replace entire parts of your wardrobe”

Tsubasa got a serious look to her face and asked “Are you considering surgery at all, please know that we will support you regardless of what you decide and can help with the costs” 

 

“WHY AREN’T YOU HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!?” yelled Kirio, dumbfounded at the reaction he received, looking between his foster mothers “I really appreciate this and I feel so lucky to have such great parents BUT I WASN’T EXPECTING THIS” He could feel his own heartbeat speeding up as Shirabe rubbed his back in an effort to calm him.

“Oh that’s because..” started Maria, looking towards Tsubasa, who made a wry smile and said “Sorry son, I think I beat you to sparking a transgender panic attack 7 years ago” 

Kirio was dumbfounded “YOU MEAN I HAD A BADASS TRANS MUM THIS WHOLE TIME”

“Im sorry dear, we weren’t sure if we should tell you. It’s a secret we have to keep from pretty much everyone” pleaded Maria “You also have a tendency to..” she struggled to find the right words.

“You speak your thoughts out loud all the time Kiri-kun” Shirabe said with an apologetic smile.

Kirio raised his voice and started to stand up “I DO … so … yeah that’s fair” he deflated and sat back down in his chair.

“Well if you want” Tsubasa offered “Maria and I have the next few days off so we can help you with some clothes shopping and setting up appointments. I can direct you to my doctor, she knows a few trans friendly places in the city”

“I’d ..” Kirio started before choking back a sob “I’d really lub that” was all he was able to get out as he started sobbing. 

“Oh sweetie” Maria cooed, getting out of her chair to comfort her son “Its going to be alright, we’re all here for you” she said wrapping him in a motherly embrace.

Tsubasa slid her phone across the table, the screen facing Kirio “So do you want me to tell Elfnein she has a new big brother or do you want to tell her yourself?”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elfnein also has some news.

_ Bzzt bzzt _

Elfnein grumbled and shifted herself into a more comfortable position, she wished someone would stop that noise.

_ Bzzt bzzt _

She barely got more than a few hours sleep each night, could they let her rest?

_ Bzzt bz- clunk _

Elfnein sat bolt upright to see her phone continuing its vibrating along the floor of her lab. She leant over to pick the phone up but fell off her chair in her haste. Scooping up the phone and scratching the answer button she squeaked “E-elfnein Kazanari-Eve speaking!”

“Oh hey kiddo, didn’t wake you did I?” Kirika’s voice comes over the line.

“I was sleeping but thats okay, how did dinner go?” Elfnein said picking herself up and returning to her chair.

“It’s ahh … how to say this .. y-yeah I’m getting to it Shirabe! Sorry, I wanted to tell you that I’m … gonna be going by Kirio now.” There was a pause on the line. “And I’m gonna be your big brother from now on.”

“Oh that’s great news … “ Elfnein trailed off as she remembered something from earlier in the day, pushing her chair over to a cabinet she started to search.  _ I swear I put it here somewhere… _

“Hey ah, Elfnein? You there?” Kirio asked.

“Huh? Oh, yes. I'm just looking for someth- I FOUND IT.” Excitedly Elfnein rushed the recovered memory stick to her computer and plugged it in.

“Found what?” Kirio replied sounding confused.   
  
“I think …. Yes this is it! Can you and everyone stay there? I’ll be right home.”

“Okay-” Kirio’s confused response is cut off as Elfnein ended the call and started stuffing what she needed into her bag.

Racing down the halls of the S.O.N.G. submarine base she barreled into the control room. “AUNT CHRIS!”   
  
“What the fu-” Is all Chris can say before she falls off her chair. Her head pops up from behind a desk. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“I really need to get home right now, can you drive me please?”

  
“S-sure, damn what’s the rush?”   
  
Already turning to leave Elfnein shouted over her shoulder. “I’ll tell you on the way there!”

  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Shirabe please don’t tell them that!” Kirio pleaded with his girlfriend.   


“Why, its funny” Shirabe replied, deadpan.

“It’s embarrassing!” He sunk to the table and buried his head in his hands.

Tsubasa smiled at the two and took a sip of her tea as noticed the front door opening.   
  
“We’re home!” Elfnein kicked off her shoes and half-hopped half-jogged into the living room. 

“Welcome home dear, what was the rush?” Maria asked standing up to give her daughter a hug.    
  
Elfnein returned the hug for a heartbeat then broke off, heading over to the tv she started to talk as she unpacked her bag. “I found something this morning while looking through the old Illuminati documents.” She leant behind the tv and grabbed a cable to plug into her laptop. “There’s still a lot to go through so I was surprised to stumble across this.” She started to tap away at the keyboard as the family moved over to the couch and armchairs for a better view.

Tsubasa leant over to Chris as she entered the living room. “Thank you for driving her home.”   
  
“Ah it’s nothing, not gonna have my niece take public transport home at 11 at night.” Chris gave her a pat on the shoulder and took a seat in one of the armchairs.

Tsubasa walked over to Maria and took a seat next to her as the TV turned on and displayed a mirror of Elfnein’s laptop screen. 

“Okay now I came across a memory stick which had some schematics for an interesting device-”   
  
Kirio interrupted. “Did that folder just say ‘ _ Cagliostro-chans Wonderful Sexy Change Tube _ .’”

“Please ignore that, I haven't had time to rename anything.” Replied Elfnein, embarrassment leaking into her voice.

Tsubasa mused. “She certainly was … eccentric. Is that title literal?” 

“Short answer, yes.” Elfnein opened the folder and started to sort through the files inside, the TV screen becoming filled with complicated and intricate schematics. Standing up from the laptop she turned to her family. “I found this early this morning but was going to save it until tomorrow due to the dinner plans tonight.”

“Wait so, is that machine that can like, change someones sex?” Kirio asked, trying to comprehend the mess of numbers and diagrams on the screen.

“It seems so, yes, as we found out later Miss Cagliostro and Miss Prelati became women later in life by becoming ‘perfect beings’ through alchemy. After reading into the materials left behind by the Illuminati it seems that both of them were quite happy about this part. I think what I’ve come across is a personal project by Miss Cagliostro to grant the average person access to the sex change portion of the procedure, and it seems to work both ways.”   
  
“Oh … wow.” mumbled Kirio. “So ah, if this machine worked could ah, me and Shirabe like …” He trailed off, a blush blooming on his cheeks.   
  
Shirabe took Kirio’s hand in hers. “Could Kirio get me pregnant?”

Maria let out a strangled yell before covering her mouth with her hand.

“Now THAT’S the reaction I wanted earlier!” Laughed Kirio as he pointed at Maria. “But yeah, could I Elfnein?”

“I believe so yes, the idea of being an aunt sounds fun.”   
  
Maria just groaned as she put her head in her hands and Tsubasa gently patted her back.

  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Tsubasa felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Kirio leaning over the back of the couch. “Hey ah Tsu- Mum, could we chat for a tick?” he asked, motioning to the balcony. 

“Of course.” Tsubasa turned to Maria. “Might be a while, I expect he has a few questions.”   
  
A look of concern flashed across Maria’s face. “Just try not to overload him with the … family history.”

“I’ll pace myself, promise.” Tsubasa gave Maria a quick kiss on the cheek before standing up and making her way out onto the balcony. Closing the door behind her for some privacy she asked. “So, where do you want to start,? I'm sure you’re full of questions.” She joined Kirio at the railing and leant against it, looking out onto the city skyline.

“Well ah …” He mumbled. “Don’t take this the wrong way, cuz I understand why you all didn’t tell me but.” He barely stifled a growl of frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I had to figure all this out by myself. Its not like you just  _ run into _ trans people on the street and go ‘Oh people can be like that?’ But like, if you’d told me, then maybe I’d have worked this shit out sooner instead of like, I dunno, 4 years later?” Kirio buried his head under his arms as he slumped against the railing. “I know I’m sounding like a brat but I just need to get that off my chest, sorry.”   
  
Tsubasa took a breath and leant back from the railing before responding. “No, you’re more than entitled to feel like that.” She gripped the railing maybe a bit too hard. “Honestly, if It was my choice I would have been open about my identity years ago.” The peaceful skyline suddenly felt like it was mocking her. “But as you know, we do not live in the most progressive of countries. If it wouldn’t destroy both mine and Maria’s careers, I would tell the world in a heartbeat. Considering that my marriage is legal only by the technicality of my birth, I have some strong feelings about being open about myself.” She made herself loosen her grip on the railing and leant against it again, measuring her breaths to calm herself. “Honestly some days I feel myself thinking that I don’t really fight for the people of this country or even this world anymore. I do this to protect the life of my family and loved ones.” 

She turned her head to see Kirio aghast. “Mum what the fuck.”

  
“W-what is it?”   
  
“You’re meant to be the big hero! Hell you’re basically the team leader, it feels wrong hearing you say stuff like that.” Kirio hugged himself and shuddered. “I mean I totally get where you’re coming from but like, still, there’s plenty of good people out there still, right? LGBT stuff aside there’s still plenty of racists and shit in the world. I just figured we we’re like, above that, be the best of humanity and all.” He turned to face the city.

Tsubasa sighed. “I’m sorry, in a way I am a tired old woman sick of petty bigotry.”

“Mum you’re like, twenty-five.”

She smiled and ruffled his hair. “Yes and I've been dealing with it for twenty years. Was that perhaps a story you were wanting to hear instead of my jaded musing?”   
  
“Yeah, that was the main idea.” Kirio giggled gently bumping Tsubasa with his shoulder. “How did you like, first work things out.”   
  
Tsubasa removed her hand crossed her arms before leaning against the railing again. “When I was probably five or six, I remember being caught wearing a woman's kimono by my grandfather. He was furious that the ‘ _ Kazanari Son _ ’ was engaging in such a deviant act. It seems my persistence won through and he let me start wearing girls clothes when I was eight, but he was adamant I was still ‘ _ The Kazanari Son _ ’. I later found out that his idea was for me to lure in potential Attuned for Division 2. So it wasn’t until years later when I met Kanade that someone explained to me what I had been feeling.” A smile crept across her lips at the memory. “I was… thirteen at the time. We were relaxing in our shared room at the old Division 2 base after a mission. Kanade approached me and asked why people kept referring to me as a boy. Now at the time, I didn’t know about transgender or transexual people, I just enjoyed wearing girls clothes and being treated like one. So I told her I was one, she initially took this to mean I was a transgender boy, and that I was born a girl. After a few minutes we worked out my identity.” Tsubasa giggled. “I remember telling her that I admired how beautiful girls were, and how I wanted to be like that. I told her that I was jealous that she always got to be like that. You know what she said to that?”   
  
“What did she say?”   
  
“‘You’re not a boy, you’re a lesbian you dork.’”

Kirio snorted. “Miss Kanade sounds like a riot.” He grabbed his belly as he laughed.

Tsubasa started laughing too. “She certainly had a way with words.”

“So was that when you started to properly transition?”   
  
“Not immediately, at that time the only other person who seemed to have some idea was Uncle, but he still wasn’t sure about the process. Then one day I walked in on Kanade shouting him down for not treating me like ‘a real girl’. Then Ryo- …. Miss Ryoko walked in having heard the screaming. She now understood the situation and helped get me started on hormone therapy.” Tsubasa let out a sigh. “Looking back now, I see that it was just another layer of control Fine laid upon me. But it did get me started towards feeling comfortable in my own body.” She turned to Kirio. “I still haven’t told that part to Chris, and honestly she should never know. Understand?”   
  
“Yeah don’t worry, I’m well aware that Fine stuff is off limits.”

“Thank you.” Tsubasa let out another sigh. “So yes, that's about the whole story of how I ended up here.”

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course.”   
  
“Even by fucked LGBT family standards, that’s really messed up.”

“Looking back, I know that now. Which is why.” Tsubasa put her arm around Kirio’s shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze. “I’m going to do everything to make sure  _ your _ transition goes as smoothly and painless as possible.”

Kirio lent into the embrace. “Thanks Mum.” He paused, thinking. “Hey wait, if the Commander was one of the first ones to get on board, is that why he doesn’t use ‘-kun’ with your name?”    
  
Tsubasa smiled. “You’re one of three people to guess that.”

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  


Chris stared at Tsubasa and Kirio chatting on the balcony. She downed the last of her coffee and made her way to the kitchen. She poked her head around the doorway to see if Maria was alone before entering. “Hey, ah Maria.” Chris walked over to the sink where Maria was doing the dishes. She placed her mug next to the other dishes yet to be washed before picking up a dish cloth. She started to idly dry the clean dishes. “Do you still have any reference or research stuff on transgender people from when you and Sis started dating?”   
  
Maria paused and thought. “I probably still have a few things bookmarked, but most are probably out of date. I can ask Tsubasa to check with her doctor next time she visits, why?”

Chris let out a long sigh. “I’ve been a pretty shit sister to a trans person, I dont want to be a shit aunt too.”

Maria gave her a smile. “I’ll be sure to send you some tonight.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kirio - 雄 : Can be read as Male, Excellence and Leadership


End file.
